I Quit!
Quit My Job!
- June 15, 2018
- About Me
Well here it is June 21st 2017 and I just resigned.
I know what your thinking….because I was thinking the same thing. WHAT!
26 years..Corporate Media Receptionist Extraordinaire….the past 5 years having been in the same position but outsourced to a miserable company who’s management team had no clue how to treat their staff or how to cope with a First Generation Outsourcing.
It was the worst 5 years of my life.
It’s been 5 years, 8 managers, lies, threats, under managed, micromanaged Hell!
But the real reason I quit was because my health was suffering and I knew in my heart I could not return to Hell!
My symptoms started by surprise one Friday afternoon, middle of summer. I got up from my desk and felt like I was going to pass out right there.
This started 3 medical leaves, numerous Dr’s, MRI’s, CT scans, Blood work..Neurologist’s, Anxiety meds ( which I only took a few times because I felt worse taking them) Hospital Emergency Visits and so much more!
All this and not one test or person could tell me what was happening to me.
There were days I felt like someone was going to commit me…..because unless its a visible black and white symptom..no one takes you seriously.
I couldn’t walk or go anywhere because I was so dizzy all the time. I was so scared I was going to pass out at any minute.
A tiny bit of relief came in the form of a very wonderful Chiropractor Dr. Ayla Azad. She knew it had something to do with my neck muscles but we could not pin point it.
Nor did anyone believe her diagnose. Which became so frustrating because I knew how I felt and after every visit I felt a tiny bit better.
On a 6 month dental check up with a New Dentist she asked if there were any health concerns. I broke down crying as I told her what was going on with me on the inside. Because on the outside I held it together every day! No one really knew what I was going through and how I felt off balance and nauseous from the time I woke up until I went to bed.
My dentist told me to tell my Dr…that I need to see a Maxillofacial Specialist. That took 8 months to get in to see him.
It took him less than 1 hour to have me diagnosed. And as he told me what was going on I sat with tears and tissue…almost 4 years of worrying every day and wondering what was really wrong with me. And he knew.
So it appears that my 26 years of doing a job I loved everyday had taken its toll.
I was diagnosed…no real name for it but it can fall under SCM Syndrome. It appears that the repetitive motion that I had done for 26 years had enlarged the muscles on the left side of my head so much that they were pressing against my arteries and nerves causing the dizziness and passing out feelings. No joke…I really could have passed out. The nature of my job…many and often complaint calls for the Telecommunications Company I worked for combined kept me in a high level of tension and stress daily. His words to me that day were…young lady you need to seriously think about quitting this job. He told me if he could put me on a beach for 6 months stress free I would be so much better. And he was right. As the months went by on my medical leave with the help of the great team at Total Rehab in Ajax I was starting to feel more and more like myself.
Then came the end of my Short Term Medical leave. Still not 100% better…thinking I might have to go back to work I met with my specialist and asked “so where do we go from here”. He said “Ideally” you should quit because the fight for Long Term and seeing their Dr will probably send you right back to work and undo everything you have just done to feel better.
So that meeting left me with alot to think about. I talked to my husband…looked at the numbers and decided I really did not want to take a step back and go through what I had already gone through. I was done! Done with non believing Health Insurance Reps…done with the bullying at work and a job where no one cared about me…done with the 3 hours of commuting a day.
I had to break the pattern for me. I had to get off the Hamster Wheel.
So here we are coming up to a year later…feeling better than I have felt in ages. Doing more…going places. Leaning to live with the small set backs of pain and dizziness. I even have a new part time job. I spend my free time creating beautiful pieces of jewelry. Designing makes me happy…having people love it and wear it makes my soul smile…and most of all it makes me forget the 5 years of Hell that I’ve been though.
Does the dizziness go away…for the most part it does.
I’ve learned how to deal with the flare ups.
Will I live with it forever….probably but I’ve learned that relaxation and creativity take my mind off of it and I get lost in the beauty of beads.
Everyone has a story…this was mine.